i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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