I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I touched a dick in church today
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
