the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The feeling are messing with the penis
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize