We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
