I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
