I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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