just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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