That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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