the condom got lost in my hair
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
