yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
