I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
