I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
