Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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