It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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