i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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