so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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