I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize