All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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