I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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