He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
