We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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