For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
