We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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