im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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