she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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