Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
