after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Sorry about my life...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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