im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
