Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize