I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize