Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
