Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize