everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
