I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I party with great urgency now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
