Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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