I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
