I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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