yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
