i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize