wanna go halves on a baby?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
