I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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