sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize