Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
