love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
