porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
