he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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