i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
