my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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