Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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