all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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