I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
