Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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