FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
