Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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