I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize