There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
