there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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