I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
MIDGETS
????
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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