return my video game
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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