No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
