is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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