I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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