Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
